Thursday, 31 May 2012

You Know You're Getting Old When

It would appear I haven't really learned my lesson about the whole bug situation here. In my defense I really didn't think they were so quick to seize an opportunity and so organised, a veritable Mafiosi of an infestation. Let me explain.

I bought Husband a new Xbox game (Metal Gear Solid HD collection) for our manniversary, it fills him with boyhood glee. The other night after we watched a movie, there was about half an hour before we needed to go bed (I need my 7 hours or I'm like a demon) so I turned to Husband a told him he could play away for and bit. I wander into the bedroom turn on the lamp at my bedside and start interneting away for the duration. The window was open. Half an hour, I only had the light on with the window opened for half an hour but that was all the bastards needed. When I finally managed to unglue my face from my laptop screen after 30 minutes of doing nothing on Twitter, the entire area around the bedside lamp was swarmed with bugs. Right next to my pillow. 

We both quickly grabbed some kitchen roll and began the insect massacre. I even managed to decimate a rather large Mayfly right on top on my laptop (which reminds me, laptop needs a wash). After we were done I couldn't shake the feeling that we missed a few.

That night neither of us could get to sleep straight away, first of all it is starting to get hot so that does not make for easy sleepage. For me also I was itchy all over, I felt there were bugs crawling all over me, it was horrifying. 

Dramatic Reenactment

Husband couldn't quite put his finger on why he couldn't sleep (possibly because there was a twitchy GBM flailing about beside him). He did have something on his mind.

Husband: 'I think if we got that Dyson vacuum and that floor fan that would solve all our problems'

GBM: 'I'm sorry, what now?' (thinking I've just swallowed one)

Husband: 'That we saw in Media Mart, with the fan you won't need to leave the windows opened and if we ever do get infested again the Dyson can dispose of the slaughtered'

GBM: 'I think I might actually love you mor........oh my God somethings crawling on my head'

We've come for your
overpriced earrings
Today off I went to Sihlcity (big shopping centre in Zurich that looks like an alien mother-ship). You know you are getting old when you are elated by the purchase of a vacuum and a fan. Dear God when did I become this person? I blame you Husband. Before I met you I had never even set foot in the home-wares section of any shop. Now I long for trips to IKEA so we can finally get those curtains and Florts that we had been thinking about (Husband won't let me actually get a Flort, come on now what's not to love about a remote control holder, Husband: 'they're tacky'). This little purchase however does mean we will have to take it easy this month. Dysons and cold air do not come cheap. We purchased the Dyson Digital Slim, oooh wall mountable and detaches into a handheld vacuum, homemaker orgasm.

I've decided to name my new fan Ryan Gosling because it's effortlessly cool. The Dyson was a tricky one, all the names I could think of were innuendo alluding to it's ability to suck. Seeing how my mother reads this Blog (Hi Ma!) in the end I decided to name it Trevor, there no offense caused (unless your name is Trevor and you suck).

We'll be so happy together, I promise

Welcome to the family Trevor and Ryan Gosling.

GBM

6 comments:

  1. All I have to say is I am so jealous of your new Dyson!! I want one so bad...I guess that makes me old jealous and excited over a vacuum...

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    1. I know isn't it awesome, cordless too, the things that make you happy as you get older :-)

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  2. Enjoyed this post - very funny! I shall have to continue reading . . .

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    1. Thank you Mike, I'm glad, please do.

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  3. I adore my Dyson. I know you will too. New here and I like what I see. Thanks for the smile

    “Lizard Happy”

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    1. You are very welcome, that you for the lovely comment, much appreciated.

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