Thursday, 31 May 2012

You Know You're Getting Old When

It would appear I haven't really learned my lesson about the whole bug situation here. In my defense I really didn't think they were so quick to seize an opportunity and so organised, a veritable Mafiosi of an infestation. Let me explain.

I bought Husband a new Xbox game (Metal Gear Solid HD collection) for our manniversary, it fills him with boyhood glee. The other night after we watched a movie, there was about half an hour before we needed to go bed (I need my 7 hours or I'm like a demon) so I turned to Husband a told him he could play away for and bit. I wander into the bedroom turn on the lamp at my bedside and start interneting away for the duration. The window was open. Half an hour, I only had the light on with the window opened for half an hour but that was all the bastards needed. When I finally managed to unglue my face from my laptop screen after 30 minutes of doing nothing on Twitter, the entire area around the bedside lamp was swarmed with bugs. Right next to my pillow. 

We both quickly grabbed some kitchen roll and began the insect massacre. I even managed to decimate a rather large Mayfly right on top on my laptop (which reminds me, laptop needs a wash). After we were done I couldn't shake the feeling that we missed a few.

That night neither of us could get to sleep straight away, first of all it is starting to get hot so that does not make for easy sleepage. For me also I was itchy all over, I felt there were bugs crawling all over me, it was horrifying. 

Dramatic Reenactment

Husband couldn't quite put his finger on why he couldn't sleep (possibly because there was a twitchy GBM flailing about beside him). He did have something on his mind.

Husband: 'I think if we got that Dyson vacuum and that floor fan that would solve all our problems'

GBM: 'I'm sorry, what now?' (thinking I've just swallowed one)

Husband: 'That we saw in Media Mart, with the fan you won't need to leave the windows opened and if we ever do get infested again the Dyson can dispose of the slaughtered'

GBM: 'I think I might actually love you mor........oh my God somethings crawling on my head'

We've come for your
overpriced earrings
Today off I went to Sihlcity (big shopping centre in Zurich that looks like an alien mother-ship). You know you are getting old when you are elated by the purchase of a vacuum and a fan. Dear God when did I become this person? I blame you Husband. Before I met you I had never even set foot in the home-wares section of any shop. Now I long for trips to IKEA so we can finally get those curtains and Florts that we had been thinking about (Husband won't let me actually get a Flort, come on now what's not to love about a remote control holder, Husband: 'they're tacky'). This little purchase however does mean we will have to take it easy this month. Dysons and cold air do not come cheap. We purchased the Dyson Digital Slim, oooh wall mountable and detaches into a handheld vacuum, homemaker orgasm.

I've decided to name my new fan Ryan Gosling because it's effortlessly cool. The Dyson was a tricky one, all the names I could think of were innuendo alluding to it's ability to suck. Seeing how my mother reads this Blog (Hi Ma!) in the end I decided to name it Trevor, there no offense caused (unless your name is Trevor and you suck).

We'll be so happy together, I promise

Welcome to the family Trevor and Ryan Gosling.


Wednesday, 30 May 2012

We're in no Rush Head

Confused looking just stood up face

So lately pretty much every time I stand up I seem to get a head-rush. It sort of started when I  first moved out to Zurich. Naturally I am convinced that this is the beginning of the end for me. This is clearly the first signs of some severe brain disease or worse still that some sort of spider monkey crawled into my ear while I was sleeping and laid it's eggs on my brain.

Husband thinks I might be being ever so slightly dramatic and that I should probably just stop standing up too fast. Well clearly I am not going to get any sympathy here.

To the internet then I go (Warning: Self diagnosis based on internet forum answers is a one way ticket to Failsville). Hmmm consensus seems to agree with Husband. What do you know, I could actually be dying here (okay, yup I might actually see my overly dramatised carry on now).

GBM needs help to stand or will fall over


Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Hot Ginger of the Week: Peter from Drunk Grindr

It's that time of the week again. So Hot Ginger of the week goes to one of the boys from Drunk Grindr, Peter (sorry James, you too are very cute but alas a brunette). For those of you not in the know Grindr is a App you can download onto your smart phone that lets you see all the other gays in your vicinity, sort of a GPS tracking system for gay men (who needs Mr. Right when you can have Mr 30ft away). You can message each other, send pics, arrange dates and so on. Of course wouldn't you know what the gays primarily use it for? Ahem (not I, being happily married before said App exploded on the scene).

So these two boys basically get hammered and start messaging people on said App with hilarious results. They make me lol, a lot. It would actually be a little bit insulting if they weren't so gosh darn adorable. The chemistry between the two boys is amazing, they've either been friends for years or are actually a couple. Actually I kinda hope they are a couple to be honest, so cute.

Here are the boys in action (Warning: Gay men being slightly rude):


Tuesday Tuneage: Parov Stelar - Libella Swing

I'm a busy bee today so not sure if I can get a proper post up, hope to though. In the meantime here is a bit of tuneage to get us through the day. My old flat-mate introduced me to Parov Stelar a while back and I've been obsessing over the man ever since. Electro swing? Jazz rave? Hell yeah, loving it, freaking awesome.

And if you like the taste of that check of the video for Catgroove too.  Dancing my pants off (not literally, well maybe a little)


Monday, 28 May 2012

Pronounced with a Silent J? Mark II

I no longer want to punch jogging in the face. Yay, I am growing as a person. I almost did an update on this post a couple of weeks ago and let me tell you I was actually feeling an altogether different way. I had been doing over 6km and I just really was not able for it. Each day we'd go out jogging I would get worse. Jog less, walk more, get stitches all over and Husband on the other hand was just going from strength to strength. Every time I would pass a jogger that looked less fit than me but barely breaking a sweat I would want to claw his/her eyes out in frustration (I'm really not violent, honestly).

So I was almost about to give up when Husband and I decided that whilst we would start our jogs together I would do less and build up to it, defeat admitted to. I started using an App I had on my iPhone called 'Couch to 5K' and I am beginning to see great improvement because of it. I'm jogging about 4.3km in 33 minutes with the aim to work up to 5km in 30 minutes (I'm about 2 weeks away from this).  Really starting to feel that I am no longer jogging's bitch.

On a negative note the Mayflies have spawned from the river in the last few days and are swarming all over trying to get horizontal with each other. This last run I swallowed three of them, tastes like feet, grossburgers.

Awesome Jogging Tuneage:


Sunday, 27 May 2012

Fashion Ninja Socks

Fashion Ninja Socks to make it look like you are in fact not wearing any socks. Fashion can be clever. This means my Espadrilles and Plimsoles won't smell like a builders ball-sack (spell check has advised me ball-sack should be hyphenated, why thank you).

Thank you Fashion, moreover thank you Penny's for making Fashion Ninja Socks for only €1.50. Awesome.

Maybe I am becoming a Hipster?

Where did they go?


Saturday, 26 May 2012

Am I a Hipster or am I a Muppet?

Blog Bomb and I doing our best Hipster Impression

So it would appear that I am beginning to tick the boxes that would equate to me being a full blown Hipster. Lately I do think that Hipsters are getting bad press, they're not all as douchey as the mainstream media make out. So what Hipster like attributes have befallen me:
  • Writes a Blog
  • Wears skinny jeans
  • Started using Instagram
  • Likes ascetically pleasingness (shops, restaurants etc.)
  • Goes antiquing

All this said there are more Hipster characteristics that I cannot measure up to:

  • Not too cool for anything
  • In fact never been cool
  • More of a Muppet really (this was made into 3 points for stress purposes)
  • Can't play synth
  • Can't play any instrument
  • I don't like things ironically, I like just like things, a lot of things
  • Not obsessed with triangle shapes
  • Never been on the list to any club or gig
  • Picture above aside don't actually wear glasses, I have 20/20 vision and would never wear a pair of empty frames
  • Don't wear anything if it's uncomfortable
  • Nothing retro on my necklace
  • I don't own a Fixie bike
  • My mustache hasn't fully filled in

I think deep down I may be slightly fascinated by the idea of Hipsters but there seems to be an awful amount of effort needed to actually be one. Seems absolutely exhausting. I think I'm happier being a Muppet in skinny jeans.


Friday, 25 May 2012

Dublin Delights: Brother Hubbard

I wasn't sure if I should post about my old homestead considering this Blog is about my relocation but when I was back in Dublin I popped into this cute cafe and I just can't keep the altogether pleasant experience to myself.

Brother Hubbard, situated on Capel Street opened its doors a couple of months ago and I had the pleasure of having my morning coffee and cake within on Tuesday. The two owners were incredibly friendly only too happy to answer my numerous questions on their establishment. The interior was fitted using Irish ash wood on all the tables, chairs, counter-space with slight hint of green throughout on the hinges and light fixtures, simple yet elegant.

The countertop was covered in drool inducing, scones and cakes, all baked on site that very morning. I ordered a macchiato and a Chocolate Orange and Almond cake and took a seat. I noticed all the sugar bowls on the tables were empty tin of Royals baking powder, an ingenious idea I thought, considering how much of the stuff they probably go through each day. It was then I realised the cake I had ordered was gluten free, too late to change my mind as my waiter was on the way over to me I decided to suck it up and try it anyways. Good God, it was possibly the moistest and most delicious cake I have ever had the pleasure of devouring. A revelation.

I told the owners I would be back, Hubbie in tow and next time we would be trying some of the lunch menu. They informed me that they are hoping to have an edible garden installed in the back courtyard in the coming weeks, yet another reason to return. Color me absolutely intrigued. Lucky Dublin.

Noms: Are you kidding me? Of course, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom.



Thursday, 24 May 2012

The Worst Co-Driver?

I was back in Ireland unexpectedly the past weekend and a good deal of my time was spent in cars traveling to various destinations which has made me come to the slightly disheartening relaisation that I am a terrible automotive companion.

I really don't mean to be but herein lies my problem, more often than not car journeys for me can involve me getting up at the arse-crack of dawn, I am not very good before 7:30. I'm a bit a grumpy prick to be honest and the last thing I want is someone in my face all chipper rambling at me incessantly pre my own personal morning watershed. Know this, honestly at these times it's is not you it is me (unless you are particularly annoying then it is you) however if you continually talk at me whilst I am in this sleep lacking cranky state I probably will want to stab you in the eye with a pen (know that I never would though). This will pass eventually just give me some time.

Just awake and cranky
Yet then another problem persists, the gentle vibration and hum of an automobile (also hairdryers, vacuums etc.) usually sends me off into nappy sleepy snoozy time anyway. Again when I awake from an unexpected vibro-nap I'm usually in the same crotchety state as above therefore in the end it's just a vicious circle of eye-pen stabbiness.

Sleepy Gingy will awake to become the Incredible Sulk

I feel sorry for Husband the most though. After four years he is used to me but I think every now and again he hopes beyond hope that this next car/bus/train journey together will be different. He usually looks at me pleadingly when I am about to put my headphones in and ignore him for the duration and begs:

Husband: 'You're putting your ear-phones in? Talk to me for a bit?'

Of course this is the worst thing he can say as my mind suddenly completely blanks and I am at a loss to think of a single topic we could possibly converse about. It's as if I've been temporarily lobotomised. Sorry Husband, you of all people do not deserve this, it's always me and never you. 

I guess knowing is the first step and I just want to say sorry to any one who's had the unpleasant non-experience of me as their co-driver. Well, at least I haven't taken a pen to anyones eye yet.


Thursday Tuneage

I've been away for the last few days hence the lightness of my posting but I definitely have a few new ones in me, just need to put them together. In the meantime here's a bit of tuneage to increase my post count. I like.


Monday, 21 May 2012

Hot Ginger of the Week: Karen Gillan

It must be that time of the week again, you know I'm actually really glad I started doing some regular posts as circumstances this week have seen to it being a little more difficult than usual for me to find things to write about. Happy to have those old reliable hot gingers to post about and there is none more worthy than this weeks entry.

For those not in the know Karen Gillan plays Doctor Who's personal companion Amy Pond in the most recent series of the show and she has been an absolute revelation. I do love Matt Smith's current take on the Doctor (that said Mr. Tennant will always be my favourite incarnation) but I completely adore the character of Amy Pond, she is as the Doctor would say 'brilliant'. Whenever Ms Gillan is on screen you simply cannot take your eyes off her, she is electric and a timeless beauty.

I had been trying to put my finger on what is about her that makes her this dynamic vision and whilst I wish I could say it was her vibrant red locks, ultimately her most striking feature are those big beautiful eyes (pardon my cliché). That said her hair is definitely her second most defining feature. It will be a major loss to the show when the Ponds (Amy and her husband Rory) bow out of the show halfway through the next series. I doubt it will be the last we see of her though. This is one hot ginger who's star is definitely on the rise.


Sunday, 20 May 2012

Blog Bomb: Sunday night blues.. also reds, yellows, greens.. some pastels.. Chocolate. Tea. Cats on treadmills.

After a successful weekend of weekending, it becomes time to week.

I week weakly, though Mondays are never as torturous as Tuesdays, and never ever as aggressively passive as Wednesdays.

I find that no matter where you work there is always one person who spends the first half of the week asking you what you did at the weekend (like they give a mother lick) and the rest asking you what you are doing next weekend. I used to make up interesting lies but now I tell boring lies instead. The continuity is much easier. I have apparently been to the same nightclub and gotten 'absolutely' shitfaced for the last 2 years, and will continue to do so indefinitely. I think if this woman was really listening she might advise me to cut down on the boozing? What a bitch.

And then Wednesday arrives :(
'' I am Wednesday.  I am going be really boring and long and I am the weekday standard of a Hennifer Lopez film.  I am as far away from this weekend as last weekend and there is nothing you can do about it. Honk Honk. ''

Thursday is often spent in a haze of anticipation, wasting the day looking forward to Friday.

My friend told me recently that he used to speed home from work really quickly, to the point of danger, just so he could.. sit on the couch AS SOON AS POSSIBLE! NOW! I NEED THE COUCH A.S.A.P ya bastarding traffik! As sitting on ones flat arse is very necessary, to negate the repetitiveness of sitting on ones flat arse all day. Hmm. ( Most office workers arses are flat, no offence buddies and I include myself here).

Its nice to get up and do things and see things and be outside in the.. outside.
Tuck that flappy arse into a pair of tracksuit pants and go for an oul stroll.

This weekending I had a Galway walk and saw some lovely things.

Swan Zoo with dramatic 'DEATH!' sign

Future Dog Running Festival from Under the kitchen table to 5K

Fartzlol! I have two bubble holes. Hehehe!
I drew a fartzlol fish for Gingerblog man. It was a highlight!

You are good looking as long as you don't make any noise, Ferrous Wheel.
And stuck my fingers up to F U nderland closing down. BADBYE! (Seriously, FU. The sounds of girls screaming while being turned upside down and spun around on the upside down 'fun' machine sounds like girls screaming while being turned upside down and spun around for any reason. Right outside my house, for three days straight. It's terribly desensitising. If someone is attacked here in the next couple of weeks I am pretty sure no-one around the docks would help them, and its not their fault. They would just turn their pale faces away from their window, pull the curtains even more closed and move further into the darkened room away from the still resounding in their ears shitty techno version of 'Call me Maybe'. Call the Samaritans maybe? Post traumatic stress, see. )

And then it was night time.

Moving past this, someone might want to listen to Infinity Guitars by Sleigh Bells.
Good getting up in the a.m. tunage. Maybe not though.

Everyone should want to awesome google: Old Long Johnson

NSFGU (Not safe for grown-ups)
And if you are free to shriek intermittently for about 30 seconds?

Google necropants

I'm sorry that I am not sorry.

Happy Week 21!

Blog Bomb!

My Paddy Pinings: 2. Irishisms

So another thing that I am kind of missing at the moment are those expressions, phrases even that people use day to day that are altogether inherently Irish. I've mentioned a few before in some of my postings such as 'shift' (to make out or snog someone) and 'fuck off' (used in a non aggressive way, similar to Americanism 'get out' or 'shut up'). I've been using a few occasionally in Switzerland and all I seem to be getting is confused looking faces. I'm in two minds as to weather or not I should just beat them out of my speech and accept defeat or keep at it with each new person I meet and beat these Irishisms into them. I've picked up a few over the years some of which are used throughout the green isle whilst some are specific to a particular county or area in Eire. So here you go in no particular order are some of my favourites with their translation thrown in too for those not in the know.

'You're an awful bollox' translates to 'You are quite cheeky sometimes but I like it'

'Jaysus, look at yer one, she's lost an awful sight of weight' translates to 'Look at her over there, hasn't she become very thin?'

'Aw I was in the absolute horrors last night' translated to 'I was very drunk last night, I have little to no memory of the event, anything could have happened including, vomiting, aggression and possible self urination'

'She'll carry buckets' translated to 'She would make a suitable mate as her stature is one that looks strong, plenty of labour can potentially be done by said woman'

'Stop throwing your arse at doing the washing up!' translates to 'You are not doing a very good job at washing those dishes, please put your back into the job at hand'

'Drive her like you stole her' translates to 'Please increase the acceleration of your vehicle , you are going quite slow'

'Don't mind her, she's nothing but a geebag' translates to 'Please do not listen to that woman's remarks, she's is actually a bag of vaginas'


Friday, 18 May 2012

Dog Envy

It would appear that everyone in Switzerland owns a dog, some even have two (greedy bastards). It's becoming harder and harder for me pass by a cute pup, off his or her leash without wanting to scoop him up and leg it. Must be careful not to or my Swiss dream will be over before it's really begun (police are everywhere in plain clothes I'm told). So yeah, if there is such a thing as broodiness for a puppy then I appear to have come down with a mighty case of this affliction.

Husband and I have been seriously considering adopting our very own pup pup but have decided to hold off until I finally secure gainful employment. Considering the fact that we may occasionally need to travel (head back to Eire for Mammy's dinner)  we need to be in a better fiscal position to afford the doggy hotels. This incredibly rational and logical decision is soul crushing to my inner child of Disney. I've so much free time at the moment and wouldn't a puppy make it so much more fulfilling? No, GBM, no, you don't get a dog because you are home all the time with nothing better to do, that's a bad GBM, sit.

To be honest it also would be great to have a dog to shoulder some of my stupidity on, say Husband arrives home to find his favourite mug or whatever shattered to pieces

GBM: 'Yeah it was the dog that broke it'

And then the dog would give Husband his big sad puppy eyes (no doubt infinitely more convincing than my big sad puppy eyes) and Husband would say.

Husband: 'Oh I could never stay mad at you'

I get off with it scott free. Mwah ha ha ha.

All this aside it's not something that we should be rushing into anyways as we are still at odds as to what breed we want our new bundle of joy to be. Personally my perfect dog has always been the Samoyed.

I might be a sucker for dogs that smile

Come on who doesn't want a dog thats known to appear to smile all the time. I'm sorry but if this picture doesn't melt the cockles of your heart then you are probably dead on the inside. Alas this dream dog of mine will have to wait as it would not be fair on this quite large dog to be cooped up in our tiny Swiss apartment, he needs lawns and fields to scamper about on. Run Sammy, run!

Back to the drawing boards, we started looking at breeds better suited to small apartments and guess what cutie was coming out on top.

Pugs, ahhhh, so ugly they're cute, I'm obsessed. The cutest thing I can think of in the whole world is a Pug in a hoodie. Come on what's not to love, they snort, they've got those cute squished up faces and those head tilts. Weird random Pug fact, you shouldn't use collars or choke chains on Pugs becuase if you pull too hard on them you could manage to pop poor little Pugsley's eyes out of his sockets. Seriously. Don't believe me watch this then (not actual video of it happening so don't worry).

So considering our wee Pug's potential health problems Husband offered a potential compromise.

It's a Puggle, cuteness overload, a Pug crossed with a Beagle. Wouldn't you just die? Okay I now realise I'm coming off like one of those crazy dog loving weirdos but perspective people, it could be worse. I could be this girl.



Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Hot Ginger of the Week: Prince Harry

Well who saw this coming eh? When the whole world (girls and gays) was swooning over Wills in the late nineties and early naughties, who knew that his goofy looking little ginger bro would grow into himself and actually surpass William in the looks department? Oh Harry you have done a great service to our kind and I don't mean enlisting.

What I like most about the young royal though is that he went a little bit mad during his teenage years and we kinda all got to come along for the ride, smoking a bit of splif (not condoning here) or dressing inappropriately at a fancy dress party (definitely not condoning). He was a bit of a jack the lad in his time. It made him ultimately more relatable than any of his counterparts, yes, I'm a silly teenager and occasionally I may make a twat of myself. All behind him now as he's too busy fighting terrorists at the moment à la Chuck Norris (I kid).

Cheers Harry, you are a fine example of a pleasant surprise in the ginger stakes.

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

A Man-Boy and his Box

So Husband and I were awoken in the early hours with the arrival of a package (seriously Swiss postal service do you know what is a respectable time to call to someone's door?).

Giant Box
It was the ultra cool and stylish stools we had ordered for our breakfast bar, they had arrived. Husband was so giddy with excitement.

Plush, yes?

Husband then left for work, he was actually away with work outside of Zurich for the day so I knew I was pretty much alone until about seven o clock today. Once I had my usual chores done and probably because I knew I was unlikely to be disturbed, this happened: 

Wouldn't you?

Which lead to this:

Captain, raise the mizzen mast! 

Became this::

I'm a 1920's Gangster, see.

Evolved to this:

I'm The Doctor and this is my TARDIS, it's bigger on the inside.

And finally:

No way, she never? (might have run out of ideas for play by this stage).

Oh dear, well after a day like today it's become abundantly clear that I probably need to get out more and start making some friends here in Zurich.

Fun though.


GBM loves Music: Give you the Ghost by Poliça

Really enjoying this album at the moment and thought I'd share with you all. Not going to go into much detail but if you like the below check it out.


Monday, 14 May 2012

Bug Lessons

So last Friday was the hottest day of the year so far in Zurich with temperatures soaring above 30 degrees (perfect temperature for me, can't handle too much heat, I am a ginger after all). On the day in question however I didn't manage to really get out and enjoy it as I was doing some unpaid work and I needed internet access (as usual).  So on the hottest day of the year I pretty much spent most of the day online and inside our apartment. Naturally enough indoors was making me as hot and sweaty as a bikram yoga studio so I decided to open all the windows in the apartment.

Ahhhh, it was nice to feel a breeze in me nethers whilst I looked at Lolcats and other important intermemes for the day (actually did do work, totes truthing). When one is interfacing with one's Mac Book Pro and the interweb one can become oblivious to all ones surroundings. We merged to became a higher being during that time and it was like my laptop became a further extension of my beer gut.

I have excellent work posture

Some six hours later Husband arrives home after his long day in real outside of the apartment work. Naturally I was there ready to greet him with freshly baked goods and other expected house husbandry (lies, I had actually been on Facebook and Twitter for the few hours before he arrived home). Husband notes the fact that I had every window in the house opened.

GBM: 'I was warm and I had loads to do today'

This was truth, we exchanged our usual pleasantries however I could see that something was not sitting quite right with him, his brow was furrowed and he seemed a bit distracted.

The Gif of Visualisation

Husband: 'Hun, did you really need all the windows opened?'

GBM: 'Eh, told you I was warm' 

Husband: 'But there are bugs and insects everywhere'

I stay glued to my laptop screen

GBM: 'Really? I hadn't noticed'

Husband: 'Haven't you ever lived on the continent before?'

I looked at him, he knows I have not.

Husband: 'Right I know, you haven't, listen it's not like Ireland, the house can get infested with bugs if you leave windows opened all day in hot weather'

GBM: 'But the heat?'

Husband: 'You need to create a draft, open a window at either end of the apartment to allow the air and insects to flow through'

Well this seemed like an incredibly logical and ingenious solution, no wonder I hadn't thought of it. I look at him with sad eyes

GBM: 'I'm sorry'

Husband: 'It's alright hun, just remember next time'

At that moment his forgiveness seemed genuine but as the night progressed and with each new bug he had to squish I could feel him getting more frustrated, I kept looking at him apologetically with each tiny death.  It was the ones that made a loud crunch sound that seemed to piss him off the most. It was at that point I decided I would form an attack on the problem first thing in the morning as soon as there was natural light (you couldn't really see the bastards in the dark). I would get up and very dramatically kill every last one of our unwanted visitors, Husband would be so proud of me and we could move past this minor mishap.

My overdramatic response

Alas my getup might have been slightly premature as when I entered the living room I was greeted with the sight of our infestation lying in a heap on the floor. The majority had died overnight. Oh well no harm, no foul, I guess. We swept up the remains and dustpanned them into the bin.

Sorry Husband, I hope you know it won't happen again, this is one Ginger Blog Man that now knows how and why he should always create a draft.

My bad.


Friday, 11 May 2012

Olfactory Paris

Breathe it in
So Husband and I had our first trip away together at the weekend since my move to Switzerland. A pretty important friend of ours who usually resides in Texas was stopping over in Paris for a brief stay and we were only too happy meet her there. Why thank you, mainland Europe.

First of all I need to begin with how amazing the TGV is, super fast speeds, Paris to Zurich in 4 hours,  shove that up your exhaust Iarnrod Eireann (Irish Rail). It was one of the more pain free rail enterprises I have ever had the good fortune to experience. Thing is I love Paris, I had been twice and had already succumbed to it’s romantic charm. That said I know that this city can be opinion dividing. There are a large group of people out there that despise Paris. For a multitude of reasons, the Parisians are rude, it’s not like how it is in the movies or even some think Paris is ultimately a shithole (not my words). The thing about Paris that these people need to know is that it is what you make of it, Paris is how you treat it and if your are a dick to Paris be prepared for Paris to be a dick to you too. With regards to the rudeness most big cities can be less welcoming than small cities and towns as a general rule, also making the assumption that everyone can and should be able to speak to you in your native tongue is probably the wrong attitude that some visitors take. I found that by using whatever limited French I had usually greets me with warm smiles and if I can't convey my point my converser is happy I tried at the very least. So far in my three trips I've yet to see this rudeness I've been forewarned about. Like most big cities too, yeah there are parts of Paris that can be considered less desirable than the rest but what I will say to you, if you are ever in one of these areas then just hop on the nearest metro to St Paul stop and start making your way around the beautiful Marais. If you can't fall in love with Paris whilst wondering around the Marais then your heart is must be made of stone and there's no hope for you. Here the homosexuals reign supreme and you can wander around without any worry that some scumbag in a tracksuit will take offense to you and you partner holding hands. 

But I always dress
like this, swearsies
Paris really does bring out the worst in my inner hipster fag, I can't help but try to look my fabulousness best (groan). I mean you would be judged if you didn't make a bit of an effort, it is the fashion capital of the world, like. Cloth satchel backpack, check, cashmere scarf, check, skinny chinos, check, flatcap, check. All this just so I can truly feel à la mode. Fashion, dahling, sweedie, dahling.

And then there's the food, the food, good grief don't get me started, sure I'll be here all day. Pastries, buns, cakes have never tasted better than in Paris. Crêpes, savory and sweet, pâté on freshly baked baguettes, french onion soup with Gruyère croutons, Crème Brûlée, wine, breakfast wine (don't judge me okay, I had not actually awoken until 12 so breakfast was at 2p.m.). Let me eat cake, oh please do let me eat cake. Personal recommendation if you happen to be dining in Paris check out L'Ambassade d'Auvergne near the Pompidiou center, food is delectable and how they present mash potato to you needs to been seen to be believed. Honestly it will not disappoint.

If you won't nom
then I will
There are many more reasons to love Paris but now I get to what had been bugging me about our most recent visit. Paris please don't be mad at me but as your friend I'm just trying to be honest with you, okay. Here it comes, Paris you kinda smell off wee. Now before you fly off the handle just hear me out, it's not like it's all the time or everywhere but yeah every now and again. I mean ultimately I can put up with it because you are so amazing in every other way but as one of your besties I just thought I'd do the right thing and tell you. I'm told you always smell like this by those in the know but I didn't really notice until this visit. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings. I still love you loads (probably wouldn't eat food if I accidently dropped it on you, 3 second rule does not apply here). This won't change my feelings on you, I'll still visit when I can and I hope we can still be friends

Soz, I just thought you should know.


Thursday, 10 May 2012

Zurich Eats on the Cheap: El Luchador

Eating out in Zurich on a budget can be a difficult task, especially if you do not have your own earned income. There is usually a slight onset of guilt felt should I even consider dining out without my hubby and using his money to fit the bill. I probably just need to get over this. Oddly enough it was Husband who set me the new weekly goal for this Blog of finding somewhere tasty and cheap to eat in Zurich and making it known to the masses. My budget is in and around 20 Francs. Challenge accepted Husband, challenge accepted.

I might have slightly cheated this week to be honest as I decided to head to El Luchador on the recommendation of Ron Orp’s newsletter (If you live in Zurich and are not reading this already then sort it out). He advised that it’s one of the first proper authentic mexican cuisine eateries to open in the city and was full of the praise.  A newb has gotta start somewhere and I’m a sucker for a taco, yum yum. 

First impressions were absolutely delightful, the interior was decked out with a mishmash of second hand furniture and wallpapered with an array of mexican wrestlers. The staff were incredibly friendly and once I had used up my very limited German, were only too happy to help translate the menu for me. At each table you are given four tiny bowls with various, chilli sauces, onions and salsas to add to your chosen dish as standard and cutlery served from large tumbler glasses with plenty of napkins (much needed as it is a near impossibility to eat this type of food without out making a mess of yourself, oh the shame). I ordered the following: 

Tacos de pollo al axiote costing  9.50 Francs
Cream de frijoles costing  5.50 Francs
A Corona with a wedge of lime costing 6.50 Francs

To be honest I wasn’t 100% sure what it was I had ordered but who doesn’t love a certain degree of mystery to their food. After waiting no more that 15 minutes at most my table looked like this:

Drool Inducing 

All this for 21.50 Francs? (about €17, great for Zurich)  Amazing, I think I might be on to a winner with El Luchador. The tacos were to die for. Sorry again to say this but there are no other semi-words I can think of to better describe good food other than nom, nom, nom. The only negative I could find was that the chips that came with the cream de frijoles we slightly over fried to my liking but that said I wasn’t familiar with this dish and it’s probably how they are supposed to be served (I mean if I wanted nachos I could have ordered them).

As I was making my exit I got speaking to the other waitress who appeared to be the owner of the establishment. I asked if they served margaritas as I could not see them on the menu and I was pleasantly informed that yes, the classic kind are their staple (I will be back to sample soon).  I told her the food was delicious and she asked me to spread the word (the restaurant has only been opened for 3 weeks). So here you go friendly nice lady from El Luchador, to be honest I’m not sure what my reach is like yet in Switzerland but if any Zurchers (yes I found out recently it’s Zurchers not Zurichans) are reading this then get yourself down to El Luchador on Konradstrasse for some of the tastiest mexican food I’ve had in a long time and the price aint half bad neither.

Noms: 5 noms out of 5

Price: One full GBM for around 20 Francs

And an Udder Thing

Husband and I were in Paris for the weekend, post coming soon once I pull the finger out and compose some thoughts on the break but in the meantime I thought I'd share this picture of the cup holders on the TGV. So what do you think, I think, these look like? Hmmm?

And the noble prize for literature goes to........

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Hot Ginger of the Week: Christina Hendricks

As the Ginger Blog Man it's probably about time I started doing some ginger based posting and what better way to do so than championing those attractive redheads world over, goodness knows the ginger community have got some bad press in the looks department over the years.  So I'm here to balance the scales and challenge the misconception that that redheads are not very attractive. So I present to you exhibit A the voluptuous wonder that is Christina Hendricks aka Joan Halloway from TV's Mad Men, lick. Christina is actually my girl crush (being a gay and all that), if I was to be with a woman (again) it would be the curvaceous Ms Hendricks. I mean she's more woman than most and just oozes sensuality.  The only negative is she is not actually a natural redhead but I'm not holding it against her in this instance given her complexion and the fact she's been dying her locks red for years, I believe she's flying the flag high for our cause. Like jello on springs, mmmm hmmm.

Tuesday, 8 May 2012

The Mayonnaise Problem

Having moved to Zurich it would seem whilst giving up old bad habits due to geography I have developed new ones. Lets say that I like most Paddies had tendency to overuse the old spreadable deliciousness that is Irish Butter. Not a problem here however as Swiss butter is more akin to tasteless smeg and has not become a staple in our refrigerator. Huzzah! The flip-side of this is mayonnaise on the continent is so delectable that I am developing a slight addiction. Husband's tearing of a piece of bread and handing it to me sees me reaching into the fridge to pour a dollop of my Thomy mayonnaise on top (that's all I need) and scoffing it down. Sometimes I even just pour a little on a spoon and swallow. I've stopped looking at Husband now whenever I do this but I can feel his eyes piercing the back of my skull with judgement. I don't care.

It's a slippery slope though, I envision my future one where I begin purchasing industrial size tubs of the stuff and eating it with my hand. The weight will pile on, I'll start wearing muumuus, I won't be able to see my penis anymore and I'll cry all the time because I can no longer fit through the door frame. Ok seriously, this now needs to stop!

Tastes like failure, yum