Friday, 11 May 2012

Olfactory Paris

Breathe it in
So Husband and I had our first trip away together at the weekend since my move to Switzerland. A pretty important friend of ours who usually resides in Texas was stopping over in Paris for a brief stay and we were only too happy meet her there. Why thank you, mainland Europe.

First of all I need to begin with how amazing the TGV is, super fast speeds, Paris to Zurich in 4 hours,  shove that up your exhaust Iarnrod Eireann (Irish Rail). It was one of the more pain free rail enterprises I have ever had the good fortune to experience. Thing is I love Paris, I had been twice and had already succumbed to it’s romantic charm. That said I know that this city can be opinion dividing. There are a large group of people out there that despise Paris. For a multitude of reasons, the Parisians are rude, it’s not like how it is in the movies or even some think Paris is ultimately a shithole (not my words). The thing about Paris that these people need to know is that it is what you make of it, Paris is how you treat it and if your are a dick to Paris be prepared for Paris to be a dick to you too. With regards to the rudeness most big cities can be less welcoming than small cities and towns as a general rule, also making the assumption that everyone can and should be able to speak to you in your native tongue is probably the wrong attitude that some visitors take. I found that by using whatever limited French I had usually greets me with warm smiles and if I can't convey my point my converser is happy I tried at the very least. So far in my three trips I've yet to see this rudeness I've been forewarned about. Like most big cities too, yeah there are parts of Paris that can be considered less desirable than the rest but what I will say to you, if you are ever in one of these areas then just hop on the nearest metro to St Paul stop and start making your way around the beautiful Marais. If you can't fall in love with Paris whilst wondering around the Marais then your heart is must be made of stone and there's no hope for you. Here the homosexuals reign supreme and you can wander around without any worry that some scumbag in a tracksuit will take offense to you and you partner holding hands. 

But I always dress
like this, swearsies
Paris really does bring out the worst in my inner hipster fag, I can't help but try to look my fabulousness best (groan). I mean you would be judged if you didn't make a bit of an effort, it is the fashion capital of the world, like. Cloth satchel backpack, check, cashmere scarf, check, skinny chinos, check, flatcap, check. All this just so I can truly feel à la mode. Fashion, dahling, sweedie, dahling.

And then there's the food, the food, good grief don't get me started, sure I'll be here all day. Pastries, buns, cakes have never tasted better than in Paris. Crêpes, savory and sweet, pâté on freshly baked baguettes, french onion soup with Gruyère croutons, Crème Brûlée, wine, breakfast wine (don't judge me okay, I had not actually awoken until 12 so breakfast was at 2p.m.). Let me eat cake, oh please do let me eat cake. Personal recommendation if you happen to be dining in Paris check out L'Ambassade d'Auvergne near the Pompidiou center, food is delectable and how they present mash potato to you needs to been seen to be believed. Honestly it will not disappoint.

If you won't nom
then I will
There are many more reasons to love Paris but now I get to what had been bugging me about our most recent visit. Paris please don't be mad at me but as your friend I'm just trying to be honest with you, okay. Here it comes, Paris you kinda smell off wee. Now before you fly off the handle just hear me out, it's not like it's all the time or everywhere but yeah every now and again. I mean ultimately I can put up with it because you are so amazing in every other way but as one of your besties I just thought I'd do the right thing and tell you. I'm told you always smell like this by those in the know but I didn't really notice until this visit. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings. I still love you loads (probably wouldn't eat food if I accidently dropped it on you, 3 second rule does not apply here). This won't change my feelings on you, I'll still visit when I can and I hope we can still be friends

Soz, I just thought you should know.



  1. All of that sounds amazing. Aside from the urine-scented part, of course. But the wine! The wine and the cake sound fantastic.

    And you DO look fabulous. Is it bad that I kind of really want that outfit? I'd be so en vogue! :-D

    1. It was totally amazing. Aw thanks so much, I can swap tips on how you too can look this hipstery. Lol

  2. Yeah Irish Rail sucks! And is expensive.

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  4. nice idea.. thanks for sharing.