Wednesday, 2 May 2012

Blog Bomb: Mini rants.. Mirants? Mants?

Super hot. Seriously, had a temperature and eye was paralysed open.

Am on a number of painkillers as per the above and below.

Wisdom teeth can go suck balls in hell (Please visualise! Hahaha! Now that they have been removed, they are where they belong).
I have learned the following:
(x) The human jaw is normally too small to fit the wisdom teeth due to the soft foods that we eat impeding the production of a fully developed jaw. Stupid soft foods giving us tiny heads. You are welcome faciomaxillary surgeon! Gums do not keep teeth in your face, the jaw bone does, so chewing is important. Chewing gum ain't gonna work (rubber bands perhaps?) and too much makes you poop. Its too late for us.. save your children!
(y) YOU DON'T ALWAYS GET MORPHINE when you get 3 wisdoms out no matter what lies your buddies or youtube tell you. BOOO!! I just wanted a video of me off my face :( The little unicorn that lives in my bodymind may never be free unless my appendix explodes.. waa!
(z)  Drooling blood and saliva does not a zombie make!

Are you there God? Its me Margarine*
Sore head food is not nice. Sugary dairy sugar with some slime on top. After eating butter for the last few months or so as my main dairy fat.. All other 'buttery' spreads taste like shoe with a dose of slime. This does not taste/feel like food to me.. Hole food not whole food. It rather sounds like something smelly ole Ron Jeremy would say to a lady of a particular job description if you get my drift: 'Here would you like some spread on your potatoes? Wink wink!' Dirty fecker.

*Ref. Judy Bloom's mortifying book for teenage girls that is singularly NOT for the Irish teenage girl.. Though Margaret is an Irishy name.. Anyway. Please read the first paragraph of wiki for the vomlol. I believe the shame will also appeal to the male readers. Get in there. Then get out. And feel sorry for any poor tween who gets this book as a present. They had bad karma in a past life.

Birds are funny and stupid.
I saw the Avengers yesterday. Nize! Then I saw a pair of seagulls today while in the hospital bed.. they are stupidly giant! It reminded me of this seagull I saw in Dublin recently flying around with a set of car keys. Why havn't they realized their potential power? That bird could have been driving some sexy car around the City Center, blasting out tunes and picking up chicks (Yay! Bird pun!). I think Albert Hitchcock with The Birds rather than Stan Lee and the Avengers had the right idea. Aliens pah. Seagulls AAGH! Potentially. If they realise. Except they are stupid.

I think I'm funny.

Probably more stupid.

Blogbomb over.


  1. 'Here would you like some spread on your potatoes? Wink wink!' pretty sure thats a Kerrygold ad quote.
    whats "vomlol"? is that "Voice over Man Laugh out loud"

  2. Love your Minirant, mant Blog Bomb, awesome.

  3. I think Kerrygold would be more literal than Ron Jeremy.. I'm not sure if you are aware of his penchant for eating 'on' certain 'occasions'.

    Vomlol definition for people who prefer to speak correctly: Funny in a sick way.

    Grammer 0 GBM 1

    Ta GBM!

  4. Try having my mouth I have a very small mouth and what is called restricted jaw opening which means I can only open my mouth a tiny trips to the dentist is a nightmare and something to be avoided. Thankfully I didn't get any wisdom teeth through.......Me and migraines are old friends and yes migraine likes to come a visit far to often.