|I did it again!|
So since moving over and into our new flat in Zurich there has been something that has been causing me great difficulty. It's never been an issue for me until now. I really am struggling to understand what has come over me all of a sudden. I keep on leaving the fridge............well open, slightly ajar, sans bush in the gap.
This new forgetum is causing Husband and our relationship nothing but heartache. He looks at me with sad eyes and tells me I've done it again. Tells me that he's truly worried I may have early onset alzheimer's. I worry if I have suddenly developed brain damage after all the selfabuse over the years, all the binge drinking sessions of my college years, all the drunken tumbles, tussles and head-butts, all the recent head rushes, all the knocks and bumps my clumsy, carelessness has caused to my head. After the 45th time of having to close the fridge after I've been raiding it, he'll say things like:
Husband: 'Now I am not attacking you but you did it again! Look I don't mean to harp on at you but this is probably one of the more silly habits you've picked up during our time together. What's going to happen when you leave it open for a whole day? Sort it out.'
This is normally met by another look of 'I'm sorry' and zero response from me as I've never been able to come up with a good reason as to why this keeps happening. I've literally not a single retort as this situation is beyond stupid.
No response that is, until now.
So Husband, let me explain why I think I keep leaving the fridge open. After careful analysis of the door and the flashing back to fridges of yore (unintentional rhyming) I've managed to deduce the following two hypotheses:
A: All fridges in Switzerland are dicks
B: This particular fridge is a dick
I think the correct answer is the latter but as I've yet to test out my theory on an alternative fridges in the region, I am not in a position to rule out the former hypothesis. Now for the science part.
I've been thinking about all previous relationships with fridges over the years they all had a commonality that this current purveyor of cold does not. All other fridges I've had over the years will close if you just push the door ever so slightly. Also most have automatically closed when the door is more closed than open (maybe this is because of torque or moments of inertia or some other crap. God damn it, why did I not pay attention in Science class) and finally some will even close if you let go of their handles.
Therefore I can only assume that this fridge is out to get me and drive a wedge between us as it does none of the above. It is fucking with my already perceived fridge mentality and my brain did not adjust to it's ways so fast. I know now that you literally must close the door fully, as in hand on handle until placed against interior wall which leads to my second conclusion in that the magnets on the door edges are also assmonkeys like the fridge and are not capable of the job at hand.
So you see? It's not me, it is the fridge.
Love you loads.