Tuesday, 4 September 2012

The Benefits of being Boys

Coming out can be hard, there is an embedded fear in most closeted men of what people will do or how they will react when they finally decide they are ready to come out. No one can make you ready, when you are you will know it. The reason I decided to finally let everybody in on my secret was because I had met someone and had fallen in love. I wanted this person (yes it was Husband) to be a part of every aspect of my life. Even if the idea of homosexuality makes some people uncomfortable, I think it's hard to argue with 'love' and I think it's hard not to be happy for someone who has found it regardless of their sexuality.

Anyway mushiness aside if you do happen to be a closeted gay man and need some other maybe less 'Disney' reasons to come out then let me outline other benefits of being in a same sex relationship apart from the obvious (I already know how your junk works, high five bro!).

Whilst a little taller then he there is not much difference between Husband and I size-wise, when it comes to clothing. Therefore 50% more wardrobe to choose from. Nobody ever tells you these things when you are struggling with leaving Narnia but if I had known it might have helped me reach that point a little sooner. Clothes rarely get thrown out in our house anymore, what is Husbands worn and tatty shirt becomes my vintage. Win win.

Similarly again, Husband and I have the same size feet also so yes this works even for shoes. Double the shoes (well considering Husbands love for shoes it kinda trebled for me). Though at times we do take a different stance on the issue of shoes, I value comfort whereas Husband will happily go a size smaller if he has to in the interest of fashion, so at times it's not as fair game as you would think. Also I suffer from a very strange disability in that whenever I step foot into quite dirty places (usually nightclubs) I tend to come out with very dirty shoes. This has lead Husband to the deduction that I have a tendency to step on my own feet (way to make me sound imbecilic) and as such all lighter coloured/easily scuffed shoes are verboten. I think it might be caused by my dancing.

Yet hands down one of the more pleasurable and at times hilarious benefits of this same sex agreemento    we got going on here is the fact that we both love to play video-games together. Now I am not trying to offend any lady gamers out there, I do know you exist but lets agree that the probability is higher that two guys share an interest in video-games over say a guy and a girl or even a girl and a girl (I'm talking more Xbox and Playstaion less Wii or DS).

One of the best memories I have of our relationship is playing Resident Evil 5 co-op over the course of an entire weekend. Husband and I together sharing the joy of shooting the heads off the undead with our shotguns, solving complicated puzzles and defeating those tricky bosses (Wesker took an age to eviscerate). All ammo and health recovery items found had to be divided equally with the utmost care. This lead to hilarious altercations such as.

GBM: 'If you even dare take those shotgun bullets over in that corner of the room you are never getting laid again'


Husband: 'Thanks, while you were off trying to get that gemstone I've just been ravaged by a pack of zombie dogs, thanks for that. I beginning to wonder if you love me'  

The words would just come out and then a little while after we would be in hysterics. Nobody actually died really and it actually brought us closer together in the end. Needless to say we are pretty excited for Resident Evil 6 in October.

The joys of being young at heart.



  1. I hear such great things about these games, I love the movies! I will say that's a great list on reasons to come out. Wishing now I'd fallen for a girl my size instead of my much bigger than me guy ;)

    1. There's a multitude more these are just some of the more funny ones I could think of. That said its not easy to plan for someone to be the same size as you.

  2. GBM:
    I think it's fabulous that you're bringing up this topic, as it's something I know I struggled mightily with, as I came to terms with my sexuality. So thank YOU.

    However, I do have a rather large bone to pick with you, as there's so many wonderful things you forgot to mention:

    Wrastling and farting and shoot'n the sh*t
    Play'n in unders, adjusting your bit
    Do what you do in being a man
    No one will scold you or say that you're bad
    More likely than not
    He'll sing your same tune
    Drop'n his trough; bark'n the moon
    Rustle'n 'n tustle'n; you'll grapple and fight
    Fill'n then spill'n then sleep through the night
    Wake the next morning, standing to pee
    Purposely miss, knowing you're FREE!!!

    My pig in a blanket was out long before I was, but soon as it started snuffling about the likes of man, no zipper was strong enough to contain the beast within.

    Smiles & Blessings:


    1. I had more Rafa but I might bring them up another time (the farting thing was kinda on my mind).

      You really do have the most hilarious comments. I love your poems so

  3. I thought this was going to be a post about encouraging people to come out. It came out a little different than expected. It seems like you're solely advocating a relationship with someone who shares your clothing size. On behalf of "talls who like smalls" allow me to advocate for the mismatched couples:
    - You can feel real powerful (or dainty) carrying your partner (or being carried)
    - Adjusting the car seat all the time is annoying, but no shelf whether high or low is out of your collective reach.
    - Uh...well, I haven't really thought this through, but maybe you can carry the other person on your shoulders so you can watch concerts easier?

    This is tougher than I thought. Fine, just date someone your own size for convenience sake.

    1. Lol it was not my intention to vere off, obviously there is something to be said for the mismatched too. I can only stay mushy for so long before I need to switch back to my observational humor Picky, you know how it is

  4. what a wonderful post anyone reading that is unsure of whether or not to come out would be inspired by this. It is wonderful of you to share your thoughts and insights. As for the video games i swear around hear you would think war was going on the way my younger brothers play online all i hear at night is shouts of "watch your back" "get out of there" or gun shots going off it's insane. oh and just i little piece of information you don't have to be a guy to still hubby's clothes i'm always taking my hubby's t-shirts he knows if one goes missing check my side of the closet..hehe

    1. Thanks a mill Becca, as usual you are a big sweetheart.