GBM Experiencing Some Technical Difficulties

Ok due to problems outside of my control (maybe the mole people are behind all this) I appear to be internetless (posting via mobile). It feels like a limb has been amputated but dear readers I think this might be faith trying to tell me something. Time for me to enjoy my unplanned web exile, get out, read a flower or smell a book.

So I guess I'll speak to you all soon.

GBM

GBM likes Art: Le Palais de Tokyo - Paris

GBM loves Modern Art but doesn't have a clue about it. I don't know many of the artists name, why they do what they do, if one piece is an expression of someone's femininity or just a ridiculous amount of drawings of vaginas. That said when we stopped through Paris recently, we popped into the modern art museum Le Palais de Tokyo and I basically took a few pics of all my favourite installations. I was going to do some research on all the pieces and wow you with extensive knowledge of modern art but in the end I found that this wouldn't be me being true to myself. Anyone who knows me would be all 'I'm not buying it GBM' so in the end I've decided just post the images of the ones I like and give a reason why. For any actual modern art aficionados I apologise in advance.

This installation was four pianists playing the same song yet all slightly out of sync. It was nauseating like something out of a horror movie. I loved it.



This GIF is of an installation that was just a load of outfits being blown about by floor fans like my Ryan Gosling. Look, ooh pretty, reminds me of that movie Return to Oz (weirdly enough not the original Wizard of Oz).

This I thought was cool because in the photo I actually get to become part of the art (bit of shameless self promotion) and look also I Instagrammed the photo to make it look worse better, you're welcome.

Finally we have the best for last. This was actually a video installation and I managed to find this image online (I didn't make a video, that said not sure if the artist would have appreciated if I did). When myself, Husband and our friend Celeste stumbled upon this video it had us in absolute hysterics. It's called 'Some objects blackened and a body too' by Lilli Reynaud-Dewar (did my research on this one as it was so awesome) and it's basically a video of the aforementioned blackened body dancing around the room of blackened objects. We appeared to be the only people laughing at the video and I was feeling inappropriate but Celeste (who works in the Modern Art World) assured us that the artist was probably trying to be humorous when she created this installation. I want more of this please, art that makes me so happy I literally cannot stop laughing. We spent the duration of the weekend imitating all the dance moves albeit not nude or blackened. Worth the trip alone for the experience.

Thank you art, you are funny.

GBM   

You Know You're Getting Old When

It would appear I haven't really learned my lesson about the whole bug situation here. In my defense I really didn't think they were so quick to seize an opportunity and so organised, a veritable Mafiosi of an infestation. Let me explain.

I bought Husband a new Xbox game (Metal Gear Solid HD collection) for our manniversary, it fills him with boyhood glee. The other night after we watched a movie, there was about half an hour before we needed to go bed (I need my 7 hours or I'm like a demon) so I turned to Husband a told him he could play away for and bit. I wander into the bedroom turn on the lamp at my bedside and start interneting away for the duration. The window was open. Half an hour, I only had the light on with the window opened for half an hour but that was all the bastards needed. When I finally managed to unglue my face from my laptop screen after 30 minutes of doing nothing on Twitter, the entire area around the bedside lamp was swarmed with bugs. Right next to my pillow. 

We both quickly grabbed some kitchen roll and began the insect massacre. I even managed to decimate a rather large Mayfly right on top on my laptop (which reminds me, laptop needs a wash). After we were done I couldn't shake the feeling that we missed a few.

That night neither of us could get to sleep straight away, first of all it is starting to get hot so that does not make for easy sleepage. For me also I was itchy all over, I felt there were bugs crawling all over me, it was horrifying. 

Dramatic Reenactment

Husband couldn't quite put his finger on why he couldn't sleep (possibly because there was a twitchy GBM flailing about beside him). He did have something on his mind.

Husband: 'I think if we got that Dyson vacuum and that floor fan that would solve all our problems'

GBM: 'I'm sorry, what now?' (thinking I've just swallowed one)

Husband: 'That we saw in Media Mart, with the fan you won't need to leave the windows opened and if we ever do get infested again the Dyson can dispose of the slaughtered'

GBM: 'I think I might actually love you mor........oh my God somethings crawling on my head'

We've come for your
overpriced earrings

Today off I went to Sihlcity (big shopping centre in Zurich that looks like an alien mother-ship). You know you are getting old when you are elated by the purchase of a vacuum and a fan. Dear God when did I become this person? I blame you Husband. Before I met you I had never even set foot in the home-wares section of any shop. Now I long for trips to IKEA so we can finally get those curtains and Florts that we had been thinking about (Husband won't let me actually get a Flort, come on now what's not to love about a remote control holder, Husband: 'they're tacky'). This little purchase however does mean we will have to take it easy this month. Dysons and cold air do not come cheap. We purchased the Dyson Digital Slim, oooh wall mountable and detaches into a handheld vacuum, homemaker orgasm.

I've decided to name my new fan Ryan Gosling because it's effortlessly cool. The Dyson was a tricky one, all the names I could think of were innuendo alluding to it's ability to suck. Seeing how my mother reads this Blog (Hi Ma!) in the end I decided to name it Trevor, there no offense caused (unless your name is Trevor and you suck).

We'll be so happy together, I promise

Welcome to the family Trevor and Ryan Gosling.

GBM

We're in no Rush Head

Confused looking just stood up face

So lately pretty much every time I stand up I seem to get a head-rush. It sort of started when I  first moved out to Zurich. Naturally I am convinced that this is the beginning of the end for me. This is clearly the first signs of some severe brain disease or worse still that some sort of spider monkey crawled into my ear while I was sleeping and laid it's eggs on my brain.

Husband thinks I might be being ever so slightly dramatic and that I should probably just stop standing up too fast. Well clearly I am not going to get any sympathy here.

To the internet then I go (Warning: Self diagnosis based on internet forum answers is a one way ticket to Failsville). Hmmm consensus seems to agree with Husband. What do you know govteens.com, I could actually be dying here (okay, yup I might actually see my overly dramatised carry on now).

GBM needs help to stand or will fall over

GBM

Hot Ginger of the Week: Peter from Drunk Grindr

It's that time of the week again. So Hot Ginger of the week goes to one of the boys from Drunk Grindr, Peter (sorry James, you too are very cute but alas a brunette). For those of you not in the know Grindr is a App you can download onto your smart phone that lets you see all the other gays in your vicinity, sort of a GPS tracking system for gay men (who needs Mr. Right when you can have Mr 30ft away). You can message each other, send pics, arrange dates and so on. Of course wouldn't you know what the gays primarily use it for? Ahem (not I, being happily married before said App exploded on the scene).

So these two boys basically get hammered and start messaging people on said App with hilarious results. They make me lol, a lot. It would actually be a little bit insulting if they weren't so gosh darn adorable. The chemistry between the two boys is amazing, they've either been friends for years or are actually a couple. Actually I kinda hope they are a couple to be honest, so cute.

Here are the boys in action (Warning: Gay men being slightly rude):

GBM

Tuesday Tuneage: Parov Stelar - Libella Swing

I'm a busy bee today so not sure if I can get a proper post up, hope to though. In the meantime here is a bit of tuneage to get us through the day. My old flat-mate introduced me to Parov Stelar a while back and I've been obsessing over the man ever since. Electro swing? Jazz rave? Hell yeah, loving it, freaking awesome.

And if you like the taste of that check of the video for Catgroove too.  Dancing my pants off (not literally, well maybe a little)

GBM

Pronounced with a Silent J? Mark II

I no longer want to punch jogging in the face. Yay, I am growing as a person. I almost did an update on this post a couple of weeks ago and let me tell you I was actually feeling an altogether different way. I had been doing over 6km and I just really was not able for it. Each day we'd go out jogging I would get worse. Jog less, walk more, get stitches all over and Husband on the other hand was just going from strength to strength. Every time I would pass a jogger that looked less fit than me but barely breaking a sweat I would want to claw his/her eyes out in frustration (I'm really not violent, honestly).

So I was almost about to give up when Husband and I decided that whilst we would start our jogs together I would do less and build up to it, defeat admitted to. I started using an App I had on my iPhone called 'Couch to 5K' and I am beginning to see great improvement because of it. I'm jogging about 4.3km in 33 minutes with the aim to work up to 5km in 30 minutes (I'm about 2 weeks away from this).  Really starting to feel that I am no longer jogging's bitch.

On a negative note the Mayflies have spawned from the river in the last few days and are swarming all over trying to get horizontal with each other. This last run I swallowed three of them, tastes like feet, grossburgers.

Awesome Jogging Tuneage:

GBM