Sunday, 8 April 2012

Man-boy vs. Logic Vol. 1

So I had been given a simple task to do by Husband. We decided to invest in a printer for our apartment, so we can print photos and the like. My mission was researched based, I had to navigate the perils and pitfalls of modern printer living to come up with the absolute best fit for our busy urban existence. No easy task I tell you as the Internet Explorer on my work computer had yet to be updated past version 6, which seemed to give Google narcolepsy. I mustered on however, I had to, this was my area of expertise and Husband was depending on me. New fangled technical doodads were always my stick. It was my duty to find us the most excellent printer the world has ever produced. Google don’t fail me now:

“best printer on the market”
“best reviewed printer”
“best printer for under €200 euro”
“best all in one printer”
“gay friendly printer” (I may have been overreaching with this one)

It seemed to be unanimous, the clear winner was the 'insert printer name here' (I cannot for the life of me remember the name of the the thing to be honest, maybe a HP; what I do remember was it was 4 in 1, printer, scanner, fax and photocopier, it could probably do the dishes and walk your dog too if you would let it, for clarity it will be from here on referred to as “Incredaprinter”).

I was beaming with pride, thinking Husband would be so happy with my success. We met in the city after work for the purchase of ‘Incredaprinter”. There were a couple of places we could go but each one we visited did not give me what my heart desired. Husband would show me alternatives but I couldn’t even entertain the idea. I needed “Incredaprinter” like the way a recently outed gay Dubliner needs to speak with a lisp. My focus had narrowed to that of a darkened tunnel with the light at the end showing “Incredaprinter” illuminated in all its glory.
Only once we reached shop number 5 had Husband realised exactly what was going on because as usual I was light on details due to my single minded focus, that’s just the way my brain works. He grabs me by my shoulders, looks me in the eyes and tries to reason with my madness

Husband: “Why do we need to get this particular printer, hun?”

I laugh at this ridiculous question in my head.

GingerBlogMan: “Because we need it, its the best on the market, it does every thing, it was the best reviewed one on the internet.”

Ha, that showed him.

H: “What does it do exactly?”

Silly husband, he’s wasn’t to know, he wasn’t the one who spent the whole day researching “Incredaprinter”.

GBM: “Well its a 4 in 1, printer, fax, scanner and photocopier, it’s even got a tray to feed paper into when you want to copy multiple documents, wifi connect-ability and onscreen display that can be removed like a tiny tablet computer”
That showed Husband, how dare he speak ill of “Incredaprinter”, no wait it looks like he wasn’t convinced.

H: “Yes, but do we really need all that from our printer”
GBM: “Of course we do, it’s an awesome printer, best one on the market”

H: “Yes but do we really need a printer that has a fax machine”

What is Husband saying, no! Suddenly my singular focus begins to expand, I start to see a couple of different printers beside “Incredaprinter” on my brain-shelf.

GBM: “But the internet told me to get this one, Husband”

Not my best defense I must say.

H: “I’m sure it did, and I’m sure it is a great printer, I’m just not sure it’s the one for us. Who do we even know that actually has a fax machine?”

Noooooooooooo, damn you and your logical thought process Husband, of course you are right.

GBM: “But why would the internet lie to me”

Probably shouldn’t of said this out-loud. Husband looks at me an laughs

So in the end after talked me round we went for a cheaper printer, a printer that yes unfortunately was not able to give you a brazilian wax but was exactly what we needed. That said I couldn’t shake the feeling I had wasted half a day (I had).

Husband Logic 1 : Man-boy 0

You may have one this battle Husband Logic but this not the end,mark my word we shall meet again in the sequel and you shall rue the day you ever messed with my brain tunnel.

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha.



  1. Gay friendly Printer is the exact same as an ordinary printer, except it cant get married in Ireland.

  2. but it can get a civil partnership now

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