Bug Lessons

So last Friday was the hottest day of the year so far in Zurich with temperatures soaring above 30 degrees (perfect temperature for me, can't handle too much heat, I am a ginger after all). On the day in question however I didn't manage to really get out and enjoy it as I was doing some unpaid work and I needed internet access (as usual).  So on the hottest day of the year I pretty much spent most of the day online and inside our apartment. Naturally enough indoors was making me as hot and sweaty as a bikram yoga studio so I decided to open all the windows in the apartment.

Ahhhh, it was nice to feel a breeze in me nethers whilst I looked at Lolcats and other important intermemes for the day (actually did do work, totes truthing). When one is interfacing with one's Mac Book Pro and the interweb one can become oblivious to all ones surroundings. We merged to became a higher being during that time and it was like my laptop became a further extension of my beer gut.

I have excellent work posture

Some six hours later Husband arrives home after his long day in real outside of the apartment work. Naturally I was there ready to greet him with freshly baked goods and other expected house husbandry (lies, I had actually been on Facebook and Twitter for the few hours before he arrived home). Husband notes the fact that I had every window in the house opened.

GBM: 'I was warm and I had loads to do today'


This was truth, we exchanged our usual pleasantries however I could see that something was not sitting quite right with him, his brow was furrowed and he seemed a bit distracted.

The Gif of Visualisation



Husband: 'Hun, did you really need all the windows opened?'


GBM: 'Eh, told you I was warm' 


Husband: 'But there are bugs and insects everywhere'


I stay glued to my laptop screen

GBM: 'Really? I hadn't noticed'


Husband: 'Haven't you ever lived on the continent before?'


I looked at him, he knows I have not.

Husband: 'Right I know, you haven't, listen it's not like Ireland, the house can get infested with bugs if you leave windows opened all day in hot weather'


GBM: 'But the heat?'


Husband: 'You need to create a draft, open a window at either end of the apartment to allow the air and insects to flow through'


Well this seemed like an incredibly logical and ingenious solution, no wonder I hadn't thought of it. I look at him with sad eyes

GBM: 'I'm sorry'


Husband: 'It's alright hun, just remember next time'


At that moment his forgiveness seemed genuine but as the night progressed and with each new bug he had to squish I could feel him getting more frustrated, I kept looking at him apologetically with each tiny death.  It was the ones that made a loud crunch sound that seemed to piss him off the most. It was at that point I decided I would form an attack on the problem first thing in the morning as soon as there was natural light (you couldn't really see the bastards in the dark). I would get up and very dramatically kill every last one of our unwanted visitors, Husband would be so proud of me and we could move past this minor mishap.

My overdramatic response

Alas my getup might have been slightly premature as when I entered the living room I was greeted with the sight of our infestation lying in a heap on the floor. The majority had died overnight. Oh well no harm, no foul, I guess. We swept up the remains and dustpanned them into the bin.

Sorry Husband, I hope you know it won't happen again, this is one Ginger Blog Man that now knows how and why he should always create a draft.

My bad.

GBM