Does this Cure what Ails ya?

Aw, another cute but useless internet meme

After replying to a few comments on my Street Parade post, I got to thinking about hangovers and the cures I had been using for them over the years. Day after SP, I felt a little like a cat had pooed in my brian and wanted nothing more than to hide and scream at the horrible sunlight and 28 degree (Celsius) scorcher of a day that had befallen us. I mean how dare it anyway? Didn't the day know I wanted to hide in a corner in the dark and not be bothered by it's niceties?  The day was a absolute bag of dicks.

Then I was dragged out to the park for picnic by a friend, still feeling like a soiled dish cloth, forced to eat possibly one of the most delicious healthy salads I've ever had with freshly baked bread still warm from the bakery and tasty blue cheese. I mean, what an inconsiderate bitch. Didn't she know that my plan for food that day would have been cereal eaten dry by hand straight from the box? What an ass-hat.

To make matters worse Husband and said friend wanted to go swimming. Swimming? I'd thought I probably would have drown considering my condition and to make matters worse I had forgotten my swimming trunks. Swimming in my black Calvin Klein boxers it was then.

Then suddenly as I was climbing out of the water it happened, my mood changed, I stopped behaving like a petulant child in my head and my hangover was gone. It was amazing, I'd just invented a new Zurich based hangover cure and do you know what, it was possibly my best and healthiest one to date.

So I've decided to list below in reverse chronological order all the hangover cures I've used over the years since I began to alcohol. Ah the Irish youth, thank god I've learned moderation (well for an Irish person at least).

1. Lifeline-The Hangover Pill: Tiny pill filled with vitamins and salts and charcoal?!? Taken within the first hour of your first drink and you should wake up the next day sans feeling like butter spread too thinly over toast. Worked for me, may have been a placebo effect as never worked for Husband but I'll take it real or not. 
2. Berocca mixed with Solpadine: Learned this one from a mate at a music festival (ah memories). Berocca is an orange flavored dissolvable vitamin tablet and Solphadine was pretty strong dissolvable painkiller, which thanks to some idiots in Ireland need for codeine is now a behind the counter medicine in Pharmacies.  Ta very much like. Mix the two together with some water and voila instant make feel nice-better. Made Husband puke though.
3. A dirty fry-up: A Full Irish Breakfast, Full English, a fry, a grill, a pile of bad things made from grease to block up your arteries, call it what you want but it's a staple cure over where I come from. A plate loaded with, greasy rashers (bacon for those who don't speak Irish), sausages, black and white pudding, baked beans, hash browns and toast, loads and loads of toast, made sure to be covered in real Irish full-fat butter. You can keep your Flora heart healthy shit, I'm here for the heart attack, I've earned this. Usually made you feel better for a while but it was slightly fleeting.
4. Yop: Yop was a weird one for me, but yeah there was a period where having a scoop of this bizarre half drink, half yogurt concoction made me feel less brain farty.  I'd usually get the really big strawberry one, om nom nom. But alas it's hangover depriving effects stopped working after some time for me.

Of Honorable Mention: The Cure. The Cure is when you just get up from the night before still a bit tipsy and rather than let the bastard get to you, you just begin drinking again so as not to feel hungover. I can't say I have done this one much, well maybe in college but not a lot to recommend here to be honest. It'll get ya eventually and you are just making it worse.

But best cure of all peeps is to not drink so much that you'll actually get one, in fact you could not drink at all. I'm not condoning hangover behavior here, merely advising what to do should it decide to spit up on your face.

GBM

Why Hangover? Why?

Why am I hungover today? I wasn't drunk last night. Am I getting old? Can I no longer have a glass or two of wine or a couple of beers without feeling like reusable toilet roll? Is this fair?

I believe a hangover is perfectly justifiable if you have literally gone hell for leather the night before and you were in the absolute horrors but not for this, I do not deserve this. Sitting through what little of my German class I managed make it to (I may have been a bit late) was an arduous affair. With each new verb conjugation adding to my ill at ease. To the point where I wanted to scream very loudly at the teacher and the class.

'DON'T LOOK AT ME'

Hide in a corner, hide away, eat whatever I can find, must be easy to prepare or I can't be arsed, drink water, feel sorry for self, watch entire season of some TV show someone, somewhere told you is awesome, eat some more, get angry at lack of productivity, feel fat, feel thin, eat some more, drink more water, think of exercising, probably do not, feeling better, drink more water, move to second season of said show. 

Hangover gone.

Now don't come back you unwelcome bastard.

GBM