I Saw Half of Ireland from a Bus Window...

...well at least I would have if I hadn't kinda slept through it, no matter. I had a fierce amount of traveling around Ireland to do now that all of my friends have moved all over the country (FYI we are all meeting in one place next time I am home) but it was an interesting experience.

I bused to the midlands, to Galway, to Cork, to the arsehole of nowhere in west Cork (town name not mentioned to protect the innocent), back to Cork (Cork is quite vast), up to Dublin then back home to the midlands. I'm am kinda pooped and actually think I spent more time hanging out with Buses than with my friends but I guess my bad for never learning to drive (I was such a city boy).

And how was the experience dear readers? Well good and bad to varying degrees. I try not to use this Blog as a forum to bitch but I sometimes think Bus Eireann are just asking for it (they would be the government run Irish bus service). First off the bat, not one Bus Eireann coach I set foot in had the correct displayed time on the on-board clocks, a fact I deduced as the possible root cause of their usual tardiness. Yet it wasn't just a few hours off, as if to imply the driver forgot change at daylight savings, no these buses existed in some weird 'Whovian' time vortex where my present day was 10/09/12 at 14:11 yet Bussy McGee was back in 10/09/93 at 22:45?!?  My fantastical Man-boy mind could probably accept the cause of their perpetual lateness if the reason was because John-Joe bus driver man was travelling through time vortexes battling Cybermen and Daleks but alas these buses were definitely not bigger on the inside.

Also Bus Eireann, there was a quite noticeable attitude adjustment by the drivers of said vehicles if perchance no other competition existed to that particular route (arsehole of nowhere town for example). Friendliness was gone and all I was left with was grumpy-arsed jaded drivers who thought that they'd seen it all and I was clearly some young ruffian out to ruin their day. Whilst making my way back from  the small town to Cork city I had this pleasant exchange.

Jaded Bus Driver: 'Can you put your backpack underneath in storage'

GBM: 'Well I have my laptop in it and I was hoping do some work' 

JBD: (narrows eyes) 'Well don't you be letting it take up a seat on the bus'

I look around and see a total of five people on the bus and quickly think this guy is being a bit of a douchecanoe, I mean why make an example of me and assume the worst? I wanted to put my bag on all the empty seats if I could just to spite his rudeness.

And finally Bus Eireann whilst I am here ranting who's bright idea was this?

Where did ya find this fella to be the voice of all coach luggage doors countrywide? Billy O'Busdoornessy from out in the stichks of rural Ireland. Tres, tres glamourous.

The Citylink and Aircoach were both altogether more pleasurable experiences and you could really tell the difference in their level of customer service. The journey from Cork to Dublin saw my driver being incredibly cute in his Cork accent:

Aircoach Driver: 'Now just to let you know it's 3 hours to Dublin, if any of you need to go to the toilet just pop up the front and let me know but you need to get to me before we pass Port Laois cuz sure there is nowhere to stop past there, boii.'

Citylink also non-stop from Galway to Cork with on-board toilet, yes please, again, again.

Sorry Bus Eireann I don't want to be mean but I think you might have stopped caring.

GBM