GBM Loves Music: Instinct by Niki & the Dove

Just got Niki & the Dove's debut Instinct and I'm really enjoying it at the moment so I thought I'd share. The band's sound is very reminiscent of early Kate Bush but with that current contemporary electropop sound (that said no one does Kate Bush better than Kate Bush herself). It's a fluid album and an uplifting listen. If you like weird sounding female singers and your Pop/Dance to have that added layer do check them out.

Ich Liebe Dick?

First day of School

Today was my first day of German lessons since I arrived in Zurich. I'm doing A1.2 in a one month intensive course, 5 half-days a week. I only enrolled yesterday so unfortunately I missed the first day, no matter.

I have a Stift. No it's not what you think!

I arrived to my class today full of wide eyed enthusiasm and ready to learn this mother of a language. German I'm gonna make you my bitch. Alas it was not to be however as it was clear when class had started that I had missed quite a bit yesterday. I was struggling. Thing was I could understand what was being said for the most part but when I tried to throw together a sentence the words wouldn't come out and in the end it was only English I could mumble. Fail.

Then my German teacher (who is lovely by the way as he never made me feel bad for my inability find the correct word in German) thought wouldn't it be a great way to introduce me to the group by writing a small text about my little life. Seemed innocent enough.

Started with the usual, where you lived etc. but as he looked for more clarity my basic German was not letting me say what I wanted to and as such more English ended up coming out. I was starting to feel mortified at my uselessness. I knew the question was coming up about what I did for a living and I was thinking how was I to explain this in German? Unemployed but looking for work, part time blogger, unpaid intern? Nope the girl closest to me said earlier that she was a 'Hausfrau'; a housewife, I decided I'll just say the masculine of that. So when the question came finally this is how it played out.

GBM: 'Ich bin Fraumann'

German Teacher: 'Was?'

He looked confused, I was thinking, I know it's weird that a man is the homemaker but come on guy this is the 21st century, jeez. I reiterated.

GBM: 'Ich bin Fraumann. Ich bin Fraumann.'

Suddenly I realise that the whole class is laughing at me and I was thinking, what is with these people? There is nothing wrong with me being a male homemaker in this day and age, get with the program German class. Then the penny dropped, I may have thought I was saying 'I'm a Homemaker' when in fact I was actually saying 'I'm a Woman-Man' 'I'm a Woman-Man' over and over. Oh well, I've never been known to make a good first impression.

I didn't have time to be that embarrassed as the next question that was thrown my way was if I moved over with my partner.

GBM: 'Ja, mit mein Partner'


But my German Teacher interjected

GT: 'Mit ein Partner oder Partnerin'

I think he assumed I'd used the wrong gender for the word and was trying to correct me (Partnerin means female partner).

GBM: 'Mit mein Partner, he's a man'


Great in the first half an hour of my german course I've managed to tell everyone that I am a Woman-Man and a homosexual. I would've told them eventually (the gay thing not the woman-man thing) but you know casually drop it into one on one conversations not have it announced to the class.

I feel foreboding for this course's future and mine.

GBM

My Paddy Pinnings: 3. Irish Red Cheddar

You know when something is such a big staple in your life, always there, that you truly didn't realise how important it was until it was gone? I'm having this feeling about Irish Red Cheddar. Cheddar was by no means my favorite cheese, it was just always there for me, the cheese I grated into my sandwiches, the cheese I placed on my burgers or used in my mexican dishes. Yet if I was to have a fancy wine and cheese night it would be the Bries, the Smoked Goudas or the Camemberts that commonly end up on my cracker. Cheddar was like the reliable and supportive older brother that you always took for granted. Now I am at a loss as to what should be melting on top of my hamburger, Swiss cheese, agg it's just not the same.

I was actually discussing this online with a close friend who's over in Brown university in Boston doing her PHD (I think she's trying to teach a monkey how to wrestle robots, rocket a mouse to Uranus with just her thumb or some other such science). She said to me that I probably miss red cheddar because it is 'the redhead of the cheese world' and hence my affinity for it.

Makes sense, I think.

GBM

Continued Adventures in Misspelling

Dis is who yous spellz it, right?

I feel fated to continue my passed mistakes.  After going through a couple of my older posts I noticed a multitude of irregularities that managed to get by my Blogger spell check.

GBM: ‘Good Lord, I’ve made loads spelling mistakes in my last few posts that I am only noticing now’

Husband: ‘Yeah I’ve noticed’

GBM: ‘Well why didn’t you tell me?’

Husband: ‘I thought that was the point, no? Aren’t you being cute’

GBM: ‘Well surly you can tell difference from when I am being cute or stupid with my word-blergs from when I actually make mistakes? Look here (points at screen) I used invested instead of infested, this sentence doesn’t make any sense.’

Husband glares at me.

GBM: ‘Don’t look at me like that, I know how stupid I sound, doesn’t change how I feel. You know me better than anyone, so you should get my speechisms. Weren’t you supposed to be my proofreader?’

Husband: ‘Yeah but you gave out to me when I started correcting you so I stopped’

GBM: ‘I gave out to you about the way you were correcting me. I didn’t say for you to stop. Just to be nicer about it’

Husband: ‘Can you actually hear yourself?’

GBM: ‘I’m very complicated, there are layers here’

Husband laughs.

GBM: ‘Okay even I’m not buying that last statement but still help a brother out, save me from myself’

Husband: ‘I’m leaving now’

GBM: ‘It’s just stream of consciousness stuff that I just type-vomit onto the page, I look over it about three or four times for mistakes but when you have been staring at something you wrote for an age sometimes it’s hard to see your crapulence’ 

Husband: ‘Have you tried writing it then leaving it for 15 or 20 minutes and coming back, you’ll pick up any mistakes better that way’

GBM: ‘Well this sounds like a great idea and makes a lot of sense so of course I haven’t tried it. I’m really more of a shoot now have Husband point out incompetence afterwards kinda guy.’

Husband: ‘You really are you own illiterate worst enemy. And your logic is messed up, how am I in the wrong here’

GBM: ‘Because that’s the why’

Husband: ‘That doesn’t make any sense’

GBM: ‘You don’t make any sense’ 

Ultimately I was more angry at myself than at Husband but I thought I was doing so well but my new found spelling confidence was only making me reckless. I think I managed to weed out most of the errors and fix them, so new readers you should have no problems. 

To my older readers and Husband I made you all this video as an apology for my lameification. It’ll never happen again..............until it does and Husband helps me correct it.

Totes remorse here, I swearsies.

GBM 

And We're Back

Huzah, my internetlessness exile would appear to be over, now I can get back to what's important, hanging out with people online, hmmm wondering if maybe I have my priorities wrong. Anywho posts coming soon but in the meantime come have a celebratory Krump with me and the Community boys for my return. 

Good to be back.

GBM

GBM Experiencing Some Technical Difficulties

Ok due to problems outside of my control (maybe the mole people are behind all this) I appear to be internetless (posting via mobile). It feels like a limb has been amputated but dear readers I think this might be faith trying to tell me something. Time for me to enjoy my unplanned web exile, get out, read a flower or smell a book.

So I guess I'll speak to you all soon.

GBM

GBM likes Art: Le Palais de Tokyo - Paris

GBM loves Modern Art but doesn't have a clue about it. I don't know many of the artists name, why they do what they do, if one piece is an expression of someone's femininity or just a ridiculous amount of drawings of vaginas. That said when we stopped through Paris recently, we popped into the modern art museum Le Palais de Tokyo and I basically took a few pics of all my favourite installations. I was going to do some research on all the pieces and wow you with extensive knowledge of modern art but in the end I found that this wouldn't be me being true to myself. Anyone who knows me would be all 'I'm not buying it GBM' so in the end I've decided just post the images of the ones I like and give a reason why. For any actual modern art aficionados I apologise in advance.

This installation was four pianists playing the same song yet all slightly out of sync. It was nauseating like something out of a horror movie. I loved it.



This GIF is of an installation that was just a load of outfits being blown about by floor fans like my Ryan Gosling. Look, ooh pretty, reminds me of that movie Return to Oz (weirdly enough not the original Wizard of Oz).

This I thought was cool because in the photo I actually get to become part of the art (bit of shameless self promotion) and look also I Instagrammed the photo to make it look worse better, you're welcome.

Finally we have the best for last. This was actually a video installation and I managed to find this image online (I didn't make a video, that said not sure if the artist would have appreciated if I did). When myself, Husband and our friend Celeste stumbled upon this video it had us in absolute hysterics. It's called 'Some objects blackened and a body too' by Lilli Reynaud-Dewar (did my research on this one as it was so awesome) and it's basically a video of the aforementioned blackened body dancing around the room of blackened objects. We appeared to be the only people laughing at the video and I was feeling inappropriate but Celeste (who works in the Modern Art World) assured us that the artist was probably trying to be humorous when she created this installation. I want more of this please, art that makes me so happy I literally cannot stop laughing. We spent the duration of the weekend imitating all the dance moves albeit not nude or blackened. Worth the trip alone for the experience.

Thank you art, you are funny.

GBM